We had another real Housewives double-header last night, with real Housewives of Orange county making its eight season debut before the second part of the real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. I was anxious that the reunion need to be incredibly boring if they were hiding it behind the OC premiere instead of giving the episode its own week, which a lot of reunions have for at least one of their segments. Neither of Beverly Hills’ two parts had that leisure, and unfortunately, it was because nothing much interesting was said.

The OC premiere was a little a lot more successful, mostly because Vicky is still a stark, raving lunatic who has now inserted foreign objects into her face. a lot of of the rest of the premiere felt like a mid-season episode, which might bode poorly for the enjoyment value of the season to come. Still, let’s have a recap. That’s what I’m here for.

1. Vicky had a chin implant. For the love of everything holy, if I had made a list of cosmetic procedures I thought might improve Vicky’s facial appearance, a chin implant would not have been in the top 30. If I’ve learned anything from living in a neighborhood with lots of rich older women who have had odd plastic surgery, it’s that implants and injectables are bad, modest lifts are good. instead of getting a facelift, which is really all that Vicky would have needed if she was unhappy with her loose skin, she just tried to fill the loose skin with random junk.

2. Vicky broke up with Brooks. Sen bilirsin. One good decision, one bad decision. Par for the course, nearly literally.

3. Or did she break up with Brooks? a lot more TO COME.

4. Tamra and Eddie have moved in together and did start a fitness studio. There’s trouble in paradise, though, because Eddie doesn’t want Tamra to wear her shoes on the carpet. Don’t let the man get you down, Tamra.

5. Brianna had her baby. Vicky’s now a grandma, which will no doubt inspire a half dozen a lot more ill-advised cosmetic procedures. Also, I’m pretty sure she had pipe cleaners glued to her eyelids for her interviews instead of fake lashes. Unrelated, but still worth noting.

6. Tamra and Vicky still hate each other and everyone still hates Alexis. Or at least Tamra, Gretchen and Heather hate her, which might as well be everybody. For the record, I still hate Alexis too, even though I think she looks great without all her fake hair.

7. earth Jesus thinks he’s an art connoisseur. That’s it, that’s the joke.

8. Alexis thinks that if she keeps saying she got bullied, it’ll eventually be true. Sure, the women weren’t incredibly great to her, but all the stuff they said in Costa Rica last year was stuff that someone needed to say to Alexis. She is a shallow, materialistic faux-snob who acts better than everyone else out of the transparently insecure hope that maybe, someday, people will believe her. trying to alert someone to their own bad behavior, however indelicately, is not bullying.

9. Heather put Tamra and Vicky across from each other at her dinner party. That’s a incredibly amateur hostess mistake – if two people don’t get along, you put them on the same side of the table, but with at least one person between them. maybe Heather wants someone to get forcibly drowned in her new pool, though.

10. Do we like any of these women? toward the end of the episode when they were setting up the fights for next week, it struck me that I don’t think I have much, if any, genuine affection for any individual on this cast. Vicky is a dumpster fire of a human being. Tamra is funny, but craven and mean. Gretchen’s just on the show to push her various poorly conceived product lines. Alexis has a great new haircut, and that’s the only positive thing I can say about her. If Heather says “champs” one a lot more time, I’ll hunt her down and personally throttle her. In all the other versions of this series, there are people for whom I root in spite of their faults. In the OC, I just want to enjoy the world burn.

And now for the reunion…

1. Kyle tried to gloss over the difficulties in Adrienne’s marriage but Lisa wouldn’t let her finish her story. Kyle’s been team Adrienne all season, of coure, and when Andy asked about their marriage, she started in with the normal platitudes about how she thought their bickering was charming and normal for them, but Lisa cut in and said that, actually, things have been bad for a while and Paul had moved out before. Clearly, there are future commissions to be had from Adrienne and Paul, so Kyle’s still walking the company line.

2. pretty much all of the Housewives seem to think that Adrienne’s using her personal chef to plant bad things about Paul in the press. It certainly lends credence to what Brandi and Lisa have been saying all season about Bernie’s involvement, and not even Kyle spoke up to contradict the speculation that Bernie was making false abuse allegations against Paul and that Adrienne was likely on boonunla ark. Taylor’ın Russell tarafından gerçekten ve sürekli istismar edildiğine inancımda her zaman kararlıydım ve Paul’un Adrienne ile aynı şeyi yapmadığından eminim. İlişkileri hakkında hiçbir şey dinamik herhangi bir uyarı işaretini göstermez ve Taylor’ın aksine, yaralanma veya olayların belgelenmiş bir tıbbi öyküsü yoktur. Oyuncunun geri kalanı haklıysa, Adrienne gerçek ev hanımları üzerindeki en kötü kişi olabilir. Yanlış istismar suçlamaları yapmaktan çok az daha düşüktür. Bir tecavüz bildirmek gibi; Yalan söylemek, gerçek kurbanların ciddiye alınmasını ve saldırganlarının kovuşturulmasını çok daha zor hale getirir.

3. Kim yastığı üzerinde kaka yapmış olabilir veya olmayabilir. Bunun üzerinde parıldadığımızı hissettim – kaka nereden geldi? Kim neden kaka olduğunu itiraf etti? Kaka çevresindeki hikaye nedir? Lede’yi buraya gömmek hakkında konuş, Bravo.

4. Tamam, bu yüzden kötü söylendi, ama Brandi’nin Kyle ve Kim’in itibarı hakkında söylediklerini alıyorum. Hayır, Kyle’ın Kim’in başarısız olmasını “umduğunu” sanmıyorum. Bence Kyle düzenli olarak kendine bir şeyin yanlış gidebileceğini hatırlatmaya çalışıyor, çünkü kız kardeşinin onlarca yıldır kendi kendini yok etmesi ve% 100 başarılı bir iyileşme için umutlarının korkunç bir duygusal risk gibi görünmesi gerekiyor. Kyle’ı beklentilerini temperlemeye çalıştığı için suçlamıyorum ve bunun Kyle’ın Kim’in çabalarından etkilenmediği ve hatta acele etmesini ve başarısız olmasını ve üstesinden gelmesini diliyorum. Aslında bu olduğunu düşünmüyorum ve bence Brandi bunu söylemeden önce biraz daha zor düşünmüş olmalı, ama genelleştirilmiş düşüncenin nereden geleceğini ve Kyle’ın neden bu şekilde davranacağını görebiliyorum.

5. Paul artık Brandi’den nefret etmiyor, ama Adrienne hala yapıyor. Paul, en azından yeniden birleşme için küçük bir ifade çekmek için uğraştı, bu da eski karısı için söyleyebileceğimizden çok daha fazla, görünüşe göre hepimizin var olduğunu unutacağımızı umuyoruz, ancak hala korkunç ayakkabılarını ve iğrenç aromalı votkasını alıyor.

6. Kyle ve Mauricio’nun emlak makineleri giderek daha şeffaftır. Mauricio, kendisi ve Kyle’ın Adrienne ve Paul’u evlerini sattıklarında sağlama için satın almadıklarını iddia ederken, yardım edemedi, ancak listeyi aldığında iki hafta içinde sattığını övdü. . Orada gerçekten ikna edici, siz çocuklar. Demek istediğim Bravo, Mauricio’nun servis kartını yeniden birleşme çekiminde herkese dağıttığı kısmı kesti.